Thursday, October 15, 2009

Conversations with god!!!

My chat with God!!!

Me: hi!!
God: hello

Me: is this god!!
God: I think so

Me: you are not sure??
God: well last time I checked I still was god!!

Me: when was the last time u checked?
God: lemme check (a short pause)... about 2 years back...

Me: so are you still god or not?

God: lemme check (a long pause)...well I just asked my seceratary...i am God!!

Me: you have to ask your secretary whether you are god or not?

God: well just wanted to confirm!!

Me: so she told you and you believed her!!

God: two things ….one he told me …second...yes I believed him...

Me: he??

God: yeah!! Why is there a problem?

Me: well! No… it is not a problem, but I thought you would have a female secretary!!

God: haven’t you heard of sexual discrimination laws!!!

Me: yes I guess you were right!!

God: thank you!!

Me: so you are definitely god?

God: u still have doubts??

Me: yeah

God: why is that?

Me: hmm…isn’t it a little be chatting with god on messenger!!

God: Boy!! Which world are you living in …internet is everywhere...and thanks to the satellites you guys have launched the wireless signal here is very strong..

Me: ohm!! okie..But it is still weird!!

God: why?

Me: aren’t you supposed to speak to me directly from the sky!!

God: I don’t want to disturb the others who are doing their work!!

Me: ohh that makes sense!!

God: good! Don’t you have any work?

Me: well you should know!!

God: why?

Me: isn’t god supposed to know everything?

God: is it? (Lemme check)

Me: BUZZ!!!

God: yeah just found out...i know it .but just don’t remember it …

Me: how did u find that out?

God: I asked my fellow gods here and my secretary confirmed!!

Me: you asked your secretary??

God: aren’t secretaries supposed to help you out with such matters...part of his job description!

Me: well are you sure you are god?

God: you still don’t believe me? Well, if may ask, who are you?

Me: oh god wouldn’t need to ask me that?

God: and why is that?

Me: ohh come on you are supposed to have all the knowledge in the world and you don’t know who you are chatting with?

God: well I do know but I just don’t remember!! Have a lot of things on my mind…

Me: yeah right!! You definitely are joking

God: well lemme see… (Goes on narrating my biodata)

Me: how did u find out?

God: kid are you crazy or you just don’t get it? I am god...

Me: but you didn’t know all this, a few main back

God: lot of data...asked my seceratary to look it up …

Me: ohh so you have archived information about everyone ehh?

God: yeah and at a given point of time have access to only a select portion...portion that is relevant …so takes time to sort out the huge amount of data

Me: well you secretary seems to be real good at searching for the required info!!

God: yeah he is!! I have a very stringent selection procedure

Me: is it...

God: yeah we do thorough background checks …and then there is an assessment center

Me: ohh what are the skills that look for

God: he has to be a good man/ woman …he must be a diligent hard worker...

Me: yeah I guess, he has to be very good to help do so much data handling

God: ohh we have tools like Google desktop search to help in searching

Me: I can help you set up the network!!

God: network??

Me: yeah so that you and the other gods can all have conferences!!

God: ohh so you want to help us out ehh? Please wait!!

[God is offline]

Secy: what happened sir? Who was it you were chatting with...?

God: some pesky little kid who wanted to get the back door entry into heaven...he offered to set up a network here …

Secy: that was new one!!!


Divya Kumar said...

lol! Vamsi! God can stay without network but won't take you into heaven. Try with Yamraj next time..I am sure he'll say yes to any opportunity to have you in Narak :D Ab bhi time hai...sudhar ja ;)

AlmostPerfect said...

Too much.... i really enjoyed reading it... it made me think of all lot of things i take for granted...

Hope you had fun writing it :D

Akshat Kumar said...

Abay Chennai ki kaunsi chakki ka atta khaata hai :P You are definitely better off "Connecting People" in Hell :P

Sagar Balan said...

were you high when you wrote this?!

Monica Dhiman said...

gud one :)