Conversations with god!!!

My chat with God!!!

Me: hi!!
God: hello

Me: is this god!!
God: I think so

Me: you are not sure??
God: well last time I checked I still was god!!

Me: when was the last time u checked?
God: lemme check (a short pause)... about 2 years back...

Me: so are you still god or not?

God: lemme check (a long pause)...well I just asked my seceratary...i am God!!

Me: you have to ask your secretary whether you are god or not?

God: well just wanted to confirm!!

Me: so she told you and you believed her!!

God: two things ….one he told me …second...yes I believed him...

Me: he??

God: yeah!! Why is there a problem?

Me: well! No… it is not a problem, but I thought you would have a female secretary!!

God: haven’t you heard of sexual discrimination laws!!!

Me: yes I guess you were right!!

God: thank you!!

Me: so you are definitely god?

God: u still have doubts??

Me: yeah

God: why is that?

Me: hmm…isn’t it a little weird...to be chatting with god on messenger!!

God: Boy!! Which world are you living in …internet is everywhere...and thanks to the satellites you guys have launched the wireless signal here is very strong..

Me: ohm!! okie..But it is still weird!!

God: why?

Me: aren’t you supposed to speak to me directly from the sky!!

God: I don’t want to disturb the others who are doing their work!!

Me: ohh that makes sense!!

God: good! Don’t you have any work?

Me: well you should know!!

God: why?

Me: isn’t god supposed to know everything?

God: is it? (Lemme check)

Me: BUZZ!!!

God: yeah just found out...i know it .but just don’t remember it …

Me: how did u find that out?

God: I asked my fellow gods here and my secretary confirmed!!

Me: you asked your secretary??

God: aren’t secretaries supposed to help you out with such matters...part of his job description!

Me: well are you sure you are god?

God: you still don’t believe me? Well, if may ask, who are you?

Me: oh god wouldn’t need to ask me that?

God: and why is that?

Me: ohh come on you are supposed to have all the knowledge in the world and you don’t know who you are chatting with?

God: well I do know but I just don’t remember!! Have a lot of things on my mind…

Me: yeah right!! You definitely are joking

God: well lemme see… (Goes on narrating my biodata)

Me: how did u find out?

God: kid are you crazy or you just don’t get it? I am god...

Me: but you didn’t know all this, a few main back

God: lot of data...asked my seceratary to look it up …

Me: ohh so you have archived information about everyone ehh?

God: yeah and at a given point of time have access to only a select portion...portion that is relevant …so takes time to sort out the huge amount of data

Me: well you secretary seems to be real good at searching for the required info!!

God: yeah he is!! I have a very stringent selection procedure

Me: is it...

God: yeah we do thorough background checks …and then there is an assessment center

Me: ohh what are the skills that look for

God: he has to be a good man/ woman …he must be a diligent hard worker...

Me: yeah I guess, he has to be very good to help do so much data handling

God: ohh we have tools like Google desktop search to help in searching

Me: I can help you set up the network!!

God: network??

Me: yeah so that you and the other gods can all have conferences!!

God: ohh so you want to help us out ehh? Please wait!!

[God is offline]

Secy: what happened sir? Who was it you were chatting with...?

God: some pesky little kid who wanted to get the back door entry into heaven...he offered to set up a network here …

Secy: that was new one!!!